So while at K-mart shopping for a birthday gift for a classmate of Alex’s…We’ve picked out the gift just had to get her a card since he insisted on it! Here’s the conversation that took place:

Alex: Mom, I gotta fart. Where can we go so I can do it?
Me: We’re almost done here, so just squeeze your butt cheeks together.
Alex: Mom, I don’t know how to do that.
Me: Just squeeze.
Alex: I can’t
Me: Ok, well then just let it go, no one is around.
Alex: But I don’t want anyone to hear it.
Me: No one’s around. Just do it so we can go.
[Long pause……..]
Alex: Mom, I gotta poop!
Me: {rolling eyes} Let’s go potty then!

After doing his business,
Alex: I just went ahead and farted while I was there, Mom.
Me: Good idea!