If you weren’t aware I have fibromyalgia. Unfortunately fibromyalgia effects me. Every. Single. Day. This post is informational. I’m not asking for sympathy or whatever. I’m asking you to read it and understand what a glimmer of what it’s like to have fibro.
After a full night of sleep, I wake up nearly just as tired as when I went to bed. When I finally will myself to get out of the bed, every muscle in my body is screaming at me in pain. On good days the more I move, my muscles start to feel a little better. Often the headache that usually wakes me up lingers through the morning.
Some weekends I would be happier not getting out of the bed. I don’t want to get up. Depression and anxiety takes over. Depressed because I want to wake up and be full of energy like when I was a kid.
I’m constantly frustrated during conversations because words don’t come to me. It’s called fog brain or fibro fog. I used to be so sharp. I was an eloquent writer but as I write this I struggle to find the words. When I joke that google is my other brain, I’m actually not joking. This problem has been the reason I have let opportunities go by the way side like grad school years ago.
Dog barking, kids talking, kicking soccer ball in the house, TV blaring…this sensory overload sends my anxiety through the roof.
Sensitivity to so many thing is a struggle. Sensitivity to sensory stimuli, including bright lights, loud noises, strong odors, and certain textures.
I have family members who think I’m lazy, but after all the research I’ve done I think I’m a fibro over achiever. I push myself to the brink of breaking. I’ll do so much some days that I’m wiped for the next several days. When I come home and lay in the bed, it’s because I am exhausted. I’m so tired that my body physically hurts to move. I also need peace and quiet. After a day at work. Yes, I work a full time job, which many with fibro aren’t able to do. So when I get home I often have dealt with enough people and I have met my daily quota. I have to have quiet to refuel to get through the evening. So when I come home and lay down for 10 minutes or 2 hours it’s not because I’m lazy or because I don’t want to be around you, it’s because my body and mind are done! When people care enough to notice that I’m having a rough day and I’m at a braking point they are so sweet to empathize and ask what the pain is like. The easiest way to equate the pain is to compare it to the body aches you get with the flu. But really it’s worse than that bc that usually lasts a couple days. My pain is like that most days or worse. That in itself is exhausting.
Because of my fibro fog and anxiety and stress my self confidence is in the toilet. I used to think that I could conquer the world. No task was too large. Now I’m happy when completing the smallest of tasks.
I do have other symptoms sporadically. I am lucky to not have all the possible symptoms of Fibromyalgia.
They say fibromyalgia is the invisible illness so I may look ok. I don’t want people to know. I don’t want people to be sad for me. I don’t want people to be constantly reminded that I’m in pain. So I don’t talk about it much. In fact, if I say something that means it must be really bad that day. But I generally slap on a smile and just live life as best I can. Its all I know to do.
Here’s some more people talking about their fibromyalgia symptoms/journey.
A Simple Explanation of Fibromyalgia
Love Letter to Husband of Wife with Chronic Illness
22 ‘Embarrassing’ Symptoms Of Fibromyalgia We Don’t Talk About
I have Fibromyalgia and This is What is like to Always be in Pain
I am absolutely 10000% convinced I have this – & I’ve had so many tests that show nothing else wrong. & all my doctors tells me its a thing that everything else has to be taken out as an option. Most of the women in my family DO have this… its just miserable. People dont understand things they dont understand or “see” … my heart feels for you.
This sounds like a very difficult thing to deal with. I didn’t know anything about this illness before reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Autoimmune diseases such as fibromyalgia are incredibly difficult to deal with much less explain to people. I have gone through much of what you have since being diagnosed with it when my children were wee little things. It’s what put me on the path toward healthier lifestyle options that often went against the grain but are now gaining in popularity in society (hello veganism and choosing cleaner products).
Tender hugs to you from one who understands.
My amazing friend, I had no idea you have fibromyalgia. You manage so well and accomplish so much and enjoy life in such a big way. I am so sorry that doing so comes at such a huge cost to your mental and physical health. I don’t have fibro but can certainly relate to being overstimulated after a day at work or a busy day elsewhere and needing quiet time to recalibrate. My daughter was long thought to have fibromyalgia but that was nixed, and they still don’t know exactly what she has but she suffers with many of your same symptoms. Hoping that someday soon there is a cure, an answer that brings you permanent relief.