Frank Zappa…a name I heard as Rob read from book that he got for Christmas. As he read he said the name “Frank Zappa”…in my head “Dad loved the Zappa family and their music.”
Then I remembered what today was…
2013 the family and I were in the air on an airplane. You can read about that here.
This combination of days. Christmas and the day after. Christmas such joy and elation. Soaking in the family moments. Yesterday on my Timehop app a cropped pic of this popped up.
It was Dad’s last Christmas (which we knew would be the case). What we didn’t know was that it would be his last day on earth.
I don’t like to talk on the phone much. I especially don’t like to be the one who makes the phone call but that day I knew I needed to call Dad.
Unfortunately I don’t remember much of the actual conversation except him telling me about how great it was to be with his niece and nephew at his brother, Guy’s house. He would say a few words, then have to take a deep breath. He struggled. I could tell he was tired. As much as I wanted to stay on the phone with him, I could tell how tired he was so we ended the conversation…Dad, I’m gonna let you go, but I’ll see you tomorrow. Have Uncle Guy text me when y’all get back to Fort Worth. I love you Dad.
I never knew that would be it. They would be the last time we would talk.
So today I have that hollow feeling inside. My heart feels heavy and then I fill like I have a pit in my stomach. I am heartbroken all over again and just want to lay in bed and marinate in my sadness…